My most hated game ever.

Today I will be speaking about my personal worst game ever. But first lets talk about something very close to me: Banjo Kazooie (this I don't hate). The game features an anthropomorphic Bear named Banjo and his faithful and rather rude companion Kazooie the bird who rides around in his blue backpack.  In the first game Banjo Kanzooie are just lying around while Gruntilda, the mean old witch on the mountain shaped like her head, tries to capture Banjo's sister to steal her beauty. In other words you have to stop this witch from becoming attractive. The plot wasn't all that important because the game itself was glorious and one of the most fun and entertaining games I've ever played. The game did something that all out of games didn't seem to be doing at the time be wacky, humorous and an entertaining adventure which is why I remember it fondly and if you haven't guessed by now that this is a retrospective then you are in for a shock.



Soak in the awesomeness.



So moving swiftly onwards to Banjo Tooie, yes it's a silly title but re-read the premise and the try complaining. So in this Gruntilda has been trapped under the boulder from which you trapped and has turned into a skeleton but is rescued by her sisters. During all this your cohort Bottles is killed and advises you a little while in spirit form. In this installment Gruntilda tries to suck the life force out of the kingdom of the jingos (don't ask) so they become zombies!!!! Thankfully though you have some help such as Jamjars (related to Bottles) , Mumbo Wumba and of course your various powers. Anyhow the game was a hit and expanded on many of  the features in  the game also adding in a skin for Kazooie which turned her into a fire-breathing dragon. The ending of the game was something that excited everyone the promise of Banjo Threeie!

But alas nothing can last forever and the good company Rare, they made Banjo Kazooie , was bought by microsoft and my hatred rose to new levels as we shall be discussing what happened next.

So this is what spawned form the twisted fusion of Rare and Microsoft,  this trash, This utter abomination that makes me puke. As I stare into the eyes of Banjo I know there is no hope for humanity until retribution for this is achieved. The main problem with this "game" is that it isn't a Banjo Kazooie game it is a game featuring Banjo and Kazooie. This crap DARES to call itself a Banjo Kazooie game well lets get started shall we. We open with Banjo being fat and a horder(large pile of xboxes and ice-cream tubs), oh Microsoft go to hell. So you're acosted by Gruntilda's head  and you must race but then this guy named L.O.G transprts you to a world you must build cars and race to get jiggys. So you get rid of all the interesting things you could do for building cars that each seem to obey their own version of the laws of physics. It's just so boring, nothing about it is new or really fun, games like this don't exist anymore for a reason! So you have to either bash something, race it or both, it is just so tedious. The levels actually are really interesting and look amazing making me think they were making a Banjo Threeie but were forced to change it. The most irritating thing about this though is the disappointment from this. I remember the joy on the way home that I could possible get a nostalgic feeling while also getting some new memories but then Rare decided to spit in my face. Anyway in this game Gruntilday is now a robot and I don't care. But now we move onto L.O.G who feels like Microsoft talking directly to us saying "Banjo Kazooie is gone  but now you get a newer better version, our version ". Liars! . So that is about it for my rant I'm done as this was also my last blog post so thanks for telerating my rage goodbye and thanks! 

One of my favourite games.

Now this will be a review of my personal favourite game ever and I will try not to let my love for this game blind me as I will admit that it is by no means the best game ever it is just my personal favourite. So lets start this totally bias review
Sonic was in1999 by Sega's sonic team for dreamcast. It of course stars Sonic the Hedgehog but in this game you can actually play as his cohorts such as Tails, Knuckles Amy E-102 gamma and bloody Big the Cat.
 The game opens with sonic noticing some SWAT members heading towards a building in town being a rather dimwitted fool sonic thinks he can help the people with guns and decides to see what the problem is. Turns out some horrible creature made out of something that looks like water is being shot at for no adequately explained reason. Sonic sees the bullets are having no effect and decides to take down the strange creature. After managing to defeat it it slinks away into the sewer like a coward. After all this Sonic decides to relax in the hotel when suddenly Tails crashes his bi-plane into the local beach so sonic must rescue him. Now from here on in the game begins to diverge into different perspectives of the story and I will cover each when I talk about gameplay. Anyway the main plot revolves around the water creature Chaos being controlled by Eggman/Doctor Robotnik who is feeding him the seven chaos emeralds to make him big and strong and Sonic plus his crew must stop him at all costs. During this each character is contacted by a mysterious character who helps explain the origin of chaos and how he came to be. This all leads to a climatic showdown in the end but more on that later.
 The gameplay varies from character to character so I will focus on the common elements such as upgrading in this game you can obtain upgrade for your powers that actually appear on the characters which I personally enjoyed but the overworld makes upgrading difficult as it either makes them a chore to find or makes it unnecessarily difficult such as when they change the camera angle suddenly in the middle of the goddamn puzzle making me restart it. Now as I mentioned the overworld can irritate me as the jungle is designed in such a way that if you don't have a map you will be lost for hours and I feel the game should a least give you a crude map so navigation is easier. The overworld does have some good qualities though such as the different music that plays in each area for example in the jungle you will hear pan flutes and drums which just adds to atmosphere. But personally I wish they had put a bit more effort into the overworld as it can be awkward to go from one area to the next.
 Time to take about the characters starting with Sonic his mechanics are pretty much the same as they have always been you run jump and spin although the unique and interesting levels make the difference and make the normally mundane controls interesting. Sonic also a few puzzles near the end of the game which come completely out of nowhere and are never seen in any other characters game. There is one major problem with Sonic though, the bad lip syncing and voice acting is really annoying and is bad for all except Gamma and Amy.
Tails' gameplay is almost the same as Sonic's only you must beat Sonic but where Sonic has speed you have flight. One of the best parts of Tails' story is his insecurity about whether he is useful without Sonic and how he overcomes this by the end. The only real problem with Tails is that it rehashes all of Sonic's levels only now with a time limit.
Knuckles is the dumbest characters in the game as he believes Eggman without question when he claims Sonic broke the Master Emerald which keeps his island afloat. Anyhow minor complaint aside knuckle's quest is to go into every level and retrieve the three pieces of the master emerald. Now Knuckles is a bit different to the others as he will punch and dig as well as glide (which makes an amazing sound) so he is one better to play if you're looking for something new.
Amy the creepy stalker of Sonic who follows him and is convinced he will someday marry her. Amy's levels mainly involving being chased by a robot who wants to capture your bird as he contains a chaos emerald. You mainly run and walk the robot with your hammer to slow him down these levels can be rather trick as it involves knowing the level really well.
E-102 Gamma has the best storyline in the game originally created by Eggman to capture the chaos emeralds. You start of just obeying Eggman blindly until you encounter Amy's bird and something within you changes you realise that you must hunt down your brothers and set the animals within them free. At the end of this you come up against E-101 and after defeating him you self-destruct in order to release the bird inside you which was the parent of Amy's bird. Gamma is completely different as he has a timer that ticks down and will only increase when you kill enemies with your right arm gun just awesome.
Bloody Big the Cat it's Sega bass fishing only the controls are even worse that is all.
   This game gets a solid 8/10 from me as I may love it but it does have some problems both mechanically and story wise but is utterly fantastic and creative.
Next post will be my most hated game of all time.



The Walking Dead



Zombies just want some hugs

     The walking dead is the newest video game from telltales games and is currently one of the thirty best-selling games on steam. It is not hard to see why this is happening as the game is a point and click that actually challenges the way point and clicks normally work with having the fact that you can tell whether or not you will need an item for a specific task instead of trying absolutely everything in your inventory before working out the puzzle. Puzzles is this game are scarce and the main point of this game is the choices you make as well as the interactions you have with the NPCs around you, no matter how small a choice you make it will effect the game and will come back to haunt you in the end. Although the game does introduce new elements into the point and click genre it still has some of problems such as quick time events that require you to just bash a button as many times as possible until the sequence ends. Anyway the game is set around your character Lee Everett just as the police car that was taking him to jail crashes. You find yourself in the suburbs and rescue a girl called Clementine from her zombie babysitter.
    The main goal of the game is find a safe place to permanently stay for you and Clementine. Throughout the game you meet other survivors and your interactions effect how they act around you for example if you choose to try and save someone or leave them to die. The characters in this are well acted as well as well -written and you come to see them as more than video game characters. My personal favourite character is Clementine though as Lee's relationship Clementine is the best part of the game and you see how she handles all these different situations and how what you say as Lee can influence her behaviour. The ending to this game is the most heartbreaking things I have seen and will bring a tear to the eyes of any video game player out there.
    The most fascinating thing about this game is just how much they actually focus on the characters which doesn't take away from the mechanics and make it some movie but the style of the gameplay compliments the story. The visual style which is sort of comic bookiness look gives you sense that it will be light hearted this is not the case and surprisingly adds to it rather than creating tonal whiplash but thankfully doesn't. Due to the number of choices present in this game it is highly replayable as even one line of dialogue can change someone's attitude towards you. Walking Dead upon its release had an interesting idea split the game into episodes now I would've liked to have seen this in a way to buy a chapter as I go along and still have the option to buy it all at once. Unfortunately you could only buy a season pass on this game
     Now if that isn't enough of an endorsement I recommend checking out a few videos of gameplay on the interwebs to get an idea of whether you'd like this. But personally I will give it a 9/10 is an amazing game and I don't know why you aren't buying this game right now. Stop reading and buy it!!!
"A brief message from me!!!!"
We are reaching my last few posts which undoubtedly will upset both of my readers and also there will be a first person shooter of  the walking dead in 2013 so I look forward to that.

Fun 2 Play

Super Crate Box

 

 Play this game and play it now!!!!!!!!! Why are you still reading this go and get it.
Stop reading and download it now!!!

Digital d23 plays Assassin's Creed 3

  

This game puts the ass into assassin's creed



Now I like the assassin's creed series I got into at brotherhood and have played most of the games and liked them despite their flaws. So I had some hope for this game to be good and it was hyped up before the launch with that video of Connor just slaughtering British troops left, right and centre. Unfortunately the game isn't like that.  (There will not be any spoilers except for notes at the bottom with an  ' beside them) So the game opens with a little cutscene that doesn't help to explain what is happening to newcomers, who will be confused by this and are there really that many people who are going to buy this who aren't fans of the series? The opening to this game is a five to six hour tutorial that restricts as much as possible.

The game is just so slow to pick up and when it does there is limitations to what you can do such as the fact that there are guards perched so close together that it is an accomplishment not to be detected while trying to free run on the rooftops which you could do all of the other games. The problem with free-running is the restrictions as you must follow the path given by the game or fail which in comparison to the last games is ridiculous as you were given the freedom to forge your own path.

So the plot is of course rather silly but the main problem lies with the ending and how moronic what happens at the end. It revolves around Desmond making a choice either one is stupid so I calling this game "mass assassin' effect creed 3". Although I do like the revolutionary setting and have to admire the towns look and feel to them. The one good thing I can say about the plot is at least John De Lancie's(Q see Star Trek The Next Generation. ) character was actually interesting. Desmond is now more involved than ever I really don't care that much as Desmond has no personality behind his derp face. I mean Desmond exists and that is about it.

Speaking about main characters let's talk about our new protagonist, Connor is mainly just angry and humourless throughout the entire game except for one scene that is actually amazing. Allow me to elaborate "Your village is burning and run through it crying out for your Mother you find trapped under a fallen log as you enter a quick time event you realise there is no way to save her she tells you to find your Father while you refuse to leave eventually on of the villagers drags you off, kicking and screaming". That is really well crafted in the game. So he has vendetta against the man who burned his villager but at points he becomes ridiculously obsessed with it almost costing other people their lives or causing the revolution to be hindered, which he supports!. Connor is humourless, aggressive and bland and I never really cared about what happens to him.
Side missions in this game mainly involve either liberation missions, trinkets, war at sea, almanac pages or homestead missions. War at sea and liberation missions are the only fun side missions in this game the rest are just boring and tedious. Naval combat in this game is some of the best I've seen and I hope to see in the next one.The liberation missions are great because the combat system allows you to go in Rambo style and just mow down all the guards in your path and I am not complaining about that. But the rest are boring especially the homestead mission as they are incredibly linear for example in one mission this couple are making a crib as the wife just became pregnant the next mission she is giving birth in the woods.
So overall the game is a mixed bag as there is a lot to complain about but it still has some good if not great elements I would give it a 7/10.


'So Desmond must sacrifice himself to release Juno to save the world but turns out she is evil and wants to rule it, the end.
This makes no sense as she has no reason to want to conquer the world as all she has ever known was destroyed millenia ago also why does she want to what possible reason could she have to rule the world and finally what will she do once she has conquered the world all she is is a ghost in a machine. This is the height of laziness all they did was write turns out she is evil!! OMG!!!. More on this later.

  

First Impressions: Halo 4









So this a first impression series will be about games I might review in the future but not right now and in the future I may do some walkthrough.
(Warning spoilers just skip down until you see the gap to avoid them!)
Now onto Halo 4 and how I think it is awesome yet flawed.
The campaign at the start revolves around Masterchief being attacked by a covenant splinter cell until you crash on a  forerunner planet. From this point on you are searching for a way to get of the planet and return to Earth to save Cortana before she becomes Rampant. Throughout the first few levels you are receiving signals from the ship "Infinity" and the main goal to find it.  While on the planet you discover some friendly security guards called prometheans who merely wish to kill you. Unfortunately this was all trap by a Forerunner named Didact  who you have just released (how did he survive the halo rings?) and now is in command of both the elites and the prometheans. So Didact wishes to wipe out all humanity, great job Masterchief! So now you must escape before the planet explodes and that's as far as I'm going to go.

The controls in this game are different again, I really don't know why they keep changing the controls in the past few Halo games if like me you're used to Halo 3 style controls set it on recon. The game does have some interesing new features such as the climbing minigame during the first level in the ship which requires you use the thumbstick to climb up and try to avoid the falling objects. In the game the graphics are absolutely amazing and push the Xbox 360 to the limit with some cutscenes looking almost photorealistic and the voice acting is phenomenal with many of the original cast reprising their roles.
The game features some amazing new guns from the prometheans that just look amazing and really fun to use. While playing this I noticed that a lot of the guns had been given boost such as the plasma pistol actually being slightly useful now but this also makes the Elites less of a threat in the game which can get really boring after mowing an army down but not being able to take down one promethean. Let's talk about the enemies in this game first Didact so far he is okay he does intrigue as he as telekinesis, managed to survive the Halo ring blast and for some reason wants to annihilate all of humanity.
The prometheans in this game are impressive as they seem to an almost unstoppable force for even Masterchief but this comes at the cost of the dignity of the elites. The sailbacks have experienced no change what so ever, they're still useless.
I have to say so far the game is looking good and I would highly recommend buying it or at least watch some playthroughs before deciding.

Cringeworthy Comics

 

So, this comic freaking awesome! I'm not even going to talk about the cover because well it's a gimmick plain and simple.So lets get this review started.

We open with a monologue by commissioner Gordon talking about the omens and the coming doom on Gotham while a van drives around in the rain and lightning. We cut to Gordon and Harvey talking about the next crime will have some superstition behind it. As they talk a van pulls up to the police station when suddenly the power is cut out and a figure stands ominously in the doorway while making some hilarious jokes like "...A man walks into a bar...". So all the police are murdered except Gordon when Batman arrives a talks with Gordon about what happened and how the Joker told a joke.

Now we're back in the batcave where Batman is analysing fiber traces left by the Joker and Damian decides to speak about how the Joker isn't really credible because he got his face cut off by the Dollmaker. But Batman points out that the Joker allowed his face to be cut off to send a message to Batman. So Batman contacts all the other Batman related casts such as Batgirl, Red Robin and Nightwing. 

So as they discuss the Joker's return a special broadcast featuring a man in Joker make-up being forced to threaten to kill the Mayor at the end of the broadcast the Joker shoots the man. It turns out this man was the son of a former Mayor who was the first person the Joker killed. Next we see the Mayor's guards, Gordon and Batman preparing for the attack on the Mayor they've tested the Mayor several times to make sure he isn't poisoned.

As he and Gordon discuss the Joker's plan and Batman begins ponder about why the Joker would re-enact his former crimes when Batman realises that he has poisoned everyone else but its too late as the guards beg for help as they die. When the guards are all dead it is revealed that the toxin worked because half of the compound was in their clothes and the rest in the floor cleaner these reacted to form a toxin that causes them to frown. The analysis also shows that there were three unnecessary chemicals that are all found in the ACE chemicals plant where the Joker was born.

 We see the Red Hood talking about how he died and the Joker was born. Then Batman realises this isn't the Joker but Harley instead as Batman runs at her but is hit by a hammer and knocked into a vat which is sealed shut before he can escape. Harley tells Batman the Joker is different now as we cut Alfred answering the door to find the a two headed lion cub there when suddenly the Joker comes at him with a hammer.

Now the comic does have an extra bit explaining what happened to Harley which really just highlights Joker's change as he pretends to cut off her face and leaves her alone calling out for help.

This comic was amazing the writing was superb as well as the art each character looks different and you can really feel how painful  it was for the guards as well as the other main characters. Now one minor criticism would be the pacing in the seen with Harley Quinn as it doesn't flow as well with the rest of the story. S o this gets a 5/5 this is superb and I would highly recommend finding a copy somewhere,

Retrogamer: Luigi's mansion

 

Today we talk about one of my favourite games in the world  Luigi's mansion. But before that happy Halloween everyone. This game was actually quite a risk for Nintendo as it starred Luigi who is Mario's brother and not exactly as popular as his brother.

Luigi's mansion is about Luigi getting a mansion, haunted by ghosts! Well the game starts with Luigi getting a note saying "you've won a free mansion" because that isn't suspicious at all. He enters the creepiest mansion in the history of the world. He walks into a room until you are attacked by some evil ghosts. Then he saved by a mysterious old man with glasses and hoover on his back. The old man is named professor E.Gad and he has been dealing with the ghosts, sort of! He says he saw Mario enter and that the ghosts were all trapped in paintings. So he asks you to help as he is well old and rather useless so you enter the mansion.
Now you go through the area you start off in is just a few dark rooms where you must clear out all the ghosts. Then you fight a few boss ghosts a Mom and a Dad but then you meet the darling little satanic demon possessed child who sends you in to another dimension and tries to kill you. Upon doing this you receive a key for the next area. Now most of the game is just this rinse and repeat formula for a while but manages to keep it interesting by showing that Mario has been imprisoned in a painting by King Boo who Luigi in all his stupidity has just released.
As you go through the game you have to capture all the Boos which is pretty damn hard as they have hundreds of hit points and keep running back in to the same damn room over and over! So you slowly learn more and more about what happened to Mario and get elemental medals that give you the powers of fire, water and ice to defeat ghosts. Now the final boss is Bowser as in a Bowser created by King Boo which shoots fire and bombs at you. Once you've defeated the boss you get a score based on the amount of money you've obtained and get a corresponding mansion. But the game is not over then you get the "Hidden Mansion" which is a harder and inverses the game. It is brutal there are only small amounts of hearts and harder bosses.
This game is amazing no matter how many times I play this game it never gets boring it has an interesting and unique look. You would think that the constant ghost fighting would get boring but each boss has unique look and an interesting fight as there are specific ways of taking each boss down. One the great things in the game is the gameboy horror which allows you to examine the ghosts and find weaknesses and the fact that Luigi can call out for Mario when pressing the A button which shows the fear in his voice. The game does gave really annoying problem, the boos! They don't co-operate as they constantly leave a room and go back repeatedly and it slowly drives you to pure insanity. 
Now this game is one the best things Nintendo has produced in my opinion in spite of a few minor flaws it gets a solid 10/10 I would recommend getting this game as it both fun and creepy.
  

 

digital d23 plays..........Dishonored

Hello and welcome to digital d23 plays and in this series we look at games I have been playing recently and see how good they are. These games will not just be recent but anything I have playing.
Anyway onto Dishonored I promise no spoilers except for the premise. The game is centred around Corvo the bodyguard of Emily the Empresses daughter after the Empress is assassinated by the lord regent Emily is kidnapped then Corvo is framed and sent to jail where he makes an escape with the help of some loyalists. When you meet the loyalists you receive both the famed mask above and the power of magic and with these tools you must rescue Emily and overthrow the lord Regent.
 The game mechanics in this are great as they give you the choice of sneaking around and not getting into fights or leave a trail of blood as you walk. The stealth mechanics in this game are some of my favourite as they are simple to learn but hard to master really it is all about timing and learning the guards patterns and striking now the game gives you two options when silently taking down guards non-lethal chokes and fatal stabs. The main problem with going around leaving a trail of blood is the chaos ranking the lower the chaos the better the outcome of the game while the higher the darker the ending. One of the mechanics in the game is magic such as blink, x-ray vision and swarm of rats. The only problem with this is that well it takes away from the stealth system.
One of the game's major strengths is the amount of lore and backstory put into the game such as letters, what characters say, books and of course audio clips. The game is great because of the little bits they've added in as well as the variety of ways to complete a mission. But the game does have some issues such as length if you were to skip everything and just rush through the game you could easily complete it in less than a day.
I would highly recommend getting this game to anyone who like any of the deus ex games or those who love stealth games.

I'm so very sorry please forgive me

 

I will keep this review brief as if I don't I will end up yelling profanities non-stop forever. The cover is just awful the art is just terrible, I mean look at martian manhunter's chest he has muscles on his muscles. The colours are all dark and bland. The cover tells us nothing and the flash and random bra woman 

don't help as it is just a mish mash of boring colours and bad art.

We open with Martian Manhunter having a stroke as one side of his face is swollen and dropping to one side. He is breaking into a Ware house through a window on the roof with guards outside. We see that the crates are filled with guns and teddy bears (that is a bad way to ship illegal firearms as they would probably check the teddies for drugs and find the guns.). In the warehouse the guards attack him (which begs the question of why he didn't disguise himself as one of them and sneak in.) and the warehouse has enough space for an all-terrain vehicle to fit in and not be noticed and has a magically appearing window that couldn't possibly have been there before where a man is holding a woman hostage. So we the martian manhunter again and the interior of the warehouse is now outside and no he did not move I checked this! So he flies up and finds the people held hostage but the kidnapper forces them to act like nothing has happened.

When he leaves we see fists emerge from the wall making me think robocop will appear which would give this 10/5 score but alas it is just the martian manhunter who I will now refer to as "John Stallone"   he explains in his most brooding face he was using x-ray vision to see him. Next we see a man demonstrating to a war lord a weapon by vaporising a large chunk of farmland (which would damage the country's economy as well as their food supply, genius) the dictator(stand in for Castro).

Now we're the pentagon with somebody who works for the government (that is all we're told) being ask to run a task force based on jutice league members and if he doesn't run this secret club it will go on his record and make him look bad in front of the president.

 There are three things wrong with this 1. If he is a congress member then who cares he is elected by the people not the president if he's not he can't be fired for declining an offer 2. He has no military training why in god's name would not give it to a general or someone who has experience with spec-ops 3. What if he threatens to tell the world about this considering you threatened him then your plan is doomed as people will look into this. Anyway he accepts and looks for  John Stallone who just flies into his apartment without even trying to conceal his identity no wonder they know who he is and he is recruited.

We cut JLE successfully defeating a villain and then Flash and Aquaman are recruited the end.

This is terrible the art is loathsome the plot is beyond stupid and the characters are whiny petulant children especially Stallone I decided not to go into that as I don't know twenty different ways to say "crap" this gets -5/5 from me which I can give because I'm me but if you want to see it for yourself go onto comixology.com because it is free! Too much if you ask me.

Fun 2 play

Recently with the growth of the free to play market I thought I might take a look at some of the games out there and try to give feedback that may help when making a decision on which games to get. So this series will focus on Free to play games.  

Left for dead the sacrifice

Unfortunately for you I lied, today will not be left 4 dead sacrifice because I'm saving it for Halloween along with a few other suprises. So instead you get Green lantern no 13!



So the cover is ok. There are a few good things about it such as the looming figures in the background of the guardians as well as the approach of the albino beings. But one of the main problems I have with this is the design of the costume it likes some weird S&M night costume compared to the domino masks they usually wear this a problem I had with issue number ten's cover as well it looks like some weird S&M party at the green lantern corp got out of hand.

We open with president Obama talking to Amanda Waller about Simon Baz the new Green Lantern and suspected terrorist( Simon Baz is the first Lebanese American in DC comics so they made a big deal out of it). They discuss the disappearance of Hal Jordan a prominent JLA member and how Baz is related to it. Next we cut to Baz walking on the Miami beach shoreline with the ring on his finger. As he wakes up he is given a message by both Hal Jordan and Sinestro at the same time! It is of course incomprehensible. We immediately cut to Baz's sister Sira going to her job, we see her persecuted for being the sister of a suspected terrorist and is sent home while crying in the car she is contacted by Baz.

He explains that he is sorry for all the trouble he has caused (such as stealing a car with bomb inside it and hospitalising his friend, yeah he's a great role model) and claims that maybe the ring can help them maybe there is a reason for it all. Baz tells his sister to meet him in there secret place I really don't want to know what they did there. So we cut to a truck driver with his going along the country road when they're attacked by the albinos from the cover (called the third army) and are immediately transformed into one of them in other words "assimilated".

So we meet Baz wearing his mask as he spots a camera but I think the green lantern costume he has been wearing for most of the issue is fairly recognisable. He looks around for Sira but he finds several members of the justice league such as Superman, Batman and Wonder woman telling him he has JLA problems.

So this issue was ok nothing reall that bad beside the awful costume design which I have already talked about and the fact that Baz is awful role model why couldn't they have a prefectly normal and law-abiding Lebanese-American it gives me the impression that writers can only make Muslims thives, murderers or terrorists. Anyway the emotial scenes in this are great and thanks to penciling by Doug Mahnke this issue's was amazing I give it 3/5.  Next week I decide to torture myself with JLA taskforce.    

Due to my inability to complete games in a week Retrogamer will be a once a month series. But I have something special planned for Halloween.

Note: Before I start I would like to apologise for being overly angry in my last review it's just I have a real problem with this portrayal of women in comics so the revised score is 1.5/5 for venom. But I stand by the comments I made in the last review. 

Incredible Hulk No 13

The cover for this is actually pretty good compared to some of the covers I have seen, it has some fairly good element s such as the looming Bruce Banner on the screen and the Hulk fearing for his life which if you the Hulk is quite worrying. Although I do notice no background and it is completely blank, fantastic.

Now we open with a recap of the plotline "Stay Angry" in which Bruce Banner went insane after he was re-united with the Hulk and scoured the Earth to find a cure for the Hulk so to stop him the Hulk must stay angry. Banner eventually succeeds resulting in the Hulk being trapped in a room with a needle about to "cure" him with a message.

So we open on that then the bald Banner tells him not to struggle or else! But then Banner apologises. We suddenly flashback to Banner being destroyed by the gamma bomb that re-united him with the Hulk. We get a look into what it's like for Banner in the Hulk's mind as he floats in a black void. Naked! Now you get image what I had to see, your welcome. Now we see that he is no longer insane, so gamma bombs cure insanity. Anyway he gets his body back and goes into a casino with only the iconic purple trousers on and uses a few cent to win a large sum of money. The casino worker asks how he got in and merely responds I know the bouncer. Which is a nice callback to when he was Mr Fixit.

So he amasses a fortune and uses it to finance his plans. Next we see Banner being rescued in the Antarctic by a blind doctor whom he talks to about how he seeks forgiveness and revenge! Now we're Latveria where Banner is blowing up Doom bots galore, then he asks a Doom why he separated him and the Hulk to which he responds" because I could". Banner promptly shoots him revealing another Doom bot. Banner is approached by a large group of Doom bots who cackle maniacally in unison. I was hoping they'd break into song. We're back in the lab of horrors where Banner explains he's sorry about every thing he has put the Hulk through and asks him to help get revenge who has been causing all their problems Doctor Doom. Banner claims that Hulk can destroy the "cure" and if he does there likely be impossible to make more. So Hulk decides to suit up and fight Doom right as some mercenaries enter the room. The end

Lets start with the good things first the art in this was just terrific and in a bi-weekly comic such as this it's impressive to see little or no problems with the art. The writing in this was superb in gives you a good insight in to Banner as it makes him somewhat redeemable for all the pain he's caused the Hulk. It gives you a look into a mind of a man who seeks forgiveness and revenge which is really interesting but there was missed opportunity with the Doom bots they could have done "Doom the musical". Anyway onto the bad the main problem with this book is all the jumping around from place to place and the whole gamma bomb cures insanity which is just ridiculous. So final score for Incredible Hulk no 13 4/5 the writing is superb as is the art so go out and get it now!

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Starwing for the SNES

 

Starwing for the snes came out in 1993 and was the first of the starfox games series and was the first 3D game for snes.

The plot is fairly straight forward: Andross the mad scientist has fled to venom after banishment for Corneria and has declared war on said planet with his massive army. General Pepper decides to launch the "airwing"  so he summons you the elite mercenary team which you are a part of. You are the leader Fox Mc Cloud.

The plot of the game is fairly thin and not the most important thing. The most important thing in this game is the gameplay mechanics. Nintendo did an amazing job with the 3D mechanics as when you first start the game you can choose between four different types of controls the main differences being if the up and down controls are inversed. Personally I'm not a fan of the inversion but the fact that you have more than two control options in a early snes game is just fantastic.Now of course this game is where you get the infamous do a barrel roll. When you begin the game you can choose between several different routes. The first level takes place on Corneria and the boss is fairly easy. The second level no matter what takes place in first person mode which made me love the game even more but the problem with this is that it's really hard to manoeuvre around and dodge objects (such as rotating blocks, IN SPACE!!) because you have very little spatial awareness. The boss for this level is quite hard to beat due to the inability to dodge anything. Now on to level 3 which is the same as level two except now you have spatial awareness. The final level is planet Venom where you fight the boss a giant demonic face that vomits square blocks at you.

The graphics for this thing are fairly good for an old 3D game and is of course blocky.The game is great and starts of one the most famous series for Nintendo and it's not to see why, though the plot is as thin paper really it's all about the gameplay. The gameplay in this game is amazing for its time as the 3D mechanics paved the way for many Nintendo games to come. But one of the major problems is the first person perspective is just awful and just doesn't work. The bosses each look unique and that makes them enjoyable and fun but the fights with  the bosses can be fairly repetitive except for the last one. Now for all its faults I will give this game an 8/10 as it is a great introduction into this legendary series.        

Retrogamer will not be out until monday. But it will be every Sunday if possible.

Venom monsters of evil parts 1-3

The cover for venom number 23 is ok its got some good features like the looming face in the back ground and the pentagram with the cloaked figures. This image of venom implies that he is arming himself for some kind of fight. Now there are some problems with this cover such as the over-use of red and black as there aren't really any other colours used.

Now the artist for this is Thony Silas who likes to play a game called how many times can emphasise a woman's breasts which is just frustrating and sexist (something I will cover in another post) and frankly I'm sick of seeing this crap in comics. Now onto the story the first page starts with a blurb explaining venom's back story and how he was Flash Thompson a character from spiderman and how after he lost his legs in combat he got a chance to become an agent as the government had obtained the venom symbiote and wanted a government controlled spiderman. The comic starts with Venom re-iterating all this to us again but in a wasteful two page spread which just infuriates me because for those two pages we could have actual character development.

 Then we meet emphasised breasts attached some female reporter (I going to keep count of how many times he does this to female characters: one) who tells him about the department of occult affairs(2) a group obsessed with obtain mystical artifacts to conquer the world and so forth. She tells him where to find them. He goes in there gun crazy starting a long fight scene while monologuing about how he feels powerless without the suit and regrets all his bad choices in life, this scene is actually pretty good and is  good character development. We then see a room filled with pods and goo as venom pulls someone they turn out to be possessed by a demon and attacks him.But stops and apologises as he didn't recognise him and venom commands him to leave that body.

When suddenly Hellstrom appears (looking like Namor) to fight venom. He taunts him about how without the suit he is a "legless travesty" as he cuts off venom's legs, venom responds with "You talk too much!". Now again this is a good scene as it shows Flash's depression about losing his legs. Venom manages to get the upper hand on Hellstrom and tries to interrogate him while Hellstrom just taunts him. Then suddenly he branded by Hellstrom and possessed, end of issue. This comic sucked the art is sexist and can only draw two types of faces but did have some good scenes so it gets a 1/5 only for those scenes .

Now onto issue 24 no cover analysis as they are basically the same except with green instead of red which shows how lazy these people are. We open with possessed venom about to eat some people but is stopped by the will of Flash! Then he makes his escape into the woods where his hair turns bloody ginger! So then he goes to female reporters flat and no we are never told how he knows where she lives. So we see her on her mac with the squarest shoulders I have ever seen(3) as she hears him she grabs a gun(4) and goes down the hallway where he asks for help and we get to see her cleavage again!(5)He claims he needs an exorcist so she takes him a spiritual shop run by a priest and she constantly crosses her arms to of course push out her chest three times in one page(8).

The priest tries to communicate with the demon(9) and he responds to the father(10). The demon tells the priest he was promised endless slaughter and power(11) so the priest asks him why he doesn't leave(12). The demon responds fairly evilly "I try to break free" and "Help me". After this venom is back and decides to track down Hellstrom(13) but the reporter refuses to allow him to do it alone(14). So he goes alone and  tries to take down Hellstrom but before he does Hellstrom summons some demons end of comic. I hate this comic not just for the art but there really isn't any substance and for gods sake the emphasis is just sexist this gets 0/5 from me.

This is issue 25 and will it improve?! Hell no! We open with the same cover compositionally except with different colours. We open where we left off with demons attacking him while Hellstrom taunts him for several pages. Really it's just a long fight scene. Until we get a monologue from venom realising he might be able to control these demons as he did before use the analogy of his father putting his head under the water so he can learn to swim and manages to control the demons and has them beat up Hellstrom until he is a bloody pulp. This was a good scene as it gives us a look into Flash's mind, establishes some backstory as well as character development.
We then cut to prison where Hellstrom is being held, he explains to venom that venom might become the devil as several of the devil lords are about to enter the descent where one will become the true devil. So venom leaves to see more emphasised breasts (15). She asks if he still has the demon(16) inside him(17) which he does but is suppressing it through his shear force of will(18)! A little later we see Flash on the phone calling Betty(a previous girlfriend) to see if she is safe as she was previously targeted by villains. Now I hate these comics they're awful, the art is terrible and sexist emphasising her breasts every chance he gets and I will never pick up anything with Thony Silas' name on it. The story is very bland and has few good scenes but nothing really intriguing or clever and the dialogue is just terrible this comic number 25 gets 1/5 but only because the female reporter was barely in it.
But the 3-part story gets 0/5 it is terrible and frankly the sexism is just ridiculous and sickening, approximately 18 times the artist emphasised her breasts. Avoid at all costs.

Yoshi Story

 

Yoshi story is a game for the Nintendo 64 starring Yoshi and other different coloured Yoshi's. Now we open the game with an adorable song that the Yoshis are singing an adorable little song while they tell the tale of how their happiness was stolen by mean old Baby Bowser as all the older Yoshis start becoming depressed. Then a new generation of Yoshis is born who seek to help reclaim the happiness in the form of hearts. Now the gameplay mechanics in this game are possibly the most interesting as it isn't 3D. The mechanics are quite simple you can jump, slam, throw unborn Yoshis at your enemies, eat your enemies and turn them into unborn Yoshis and "eject them" and of course run. With its rather simplistic controls the game is easy to learn but hard to master each chapter has several other level choices. These are numbered and are different coloured indicating difficulty, blue meaning hard and red meaning easy. You must complete one level per chapter to move onto the next. After a few chapters you meet an adorable cotton candy creature who tries to kill you, so you must eat him alive to defeat him/her. So after going through a few chapters you go to Baby Boswer's castle and begin the final showdown. When you've beaten Baby Bowser you get some text saying that everything is back to normal and the Yoshis aren't sad anymore. This review is going to be quite short as overall there really isn't that much to comment on. This game is actually fairly good it's a game for the casual gamer as I've said the controls are really simple and make the game fun and enjoyable. The game also has its own unique look which is good as Yoshi is a Mario character and it is fun to see Yoshi in his own world and not being some Mario clone. Another great thing is the life system as instead of lives you have different coloured Yoshis Although one of the weaker points of the game is the story as it really doesn't really have one it's just Baby Bowser makes everyone depressed make everyone happy the end.Overall the game is ok as the look and  mechanics are fun but the story is practically non-existent. So this game gets a 7/10 as it's a fun but flawed game      

The New Avengers Number 28

The cover for this issue is ok nothing really special or unique about it, it's hard to comment on something like this as I have no strong feelings about this it feels fairly generic and the only really interesting thing about it is the destroyed wall in the foreground and the prison cell door looming in the background menacingly.

A quick note before I start though this is a tie-in issue to the events of Avengers versus X-men and I will give you a bit of backstory. A destructive force known as the phoenix is on it's way to Earth to of course destroy it. So the avengers and x-men try to stop it and are successful but it is shattered into five pieces which are absorbed by five x-men: Cyclops, Emma Frost, Namor, Magik and Colossus. Now they're turning evil and the heroes of Earth are all that stands in their way and of course some of the heroes are taken prisoner.

We open with a dark hallway in Utopia as we then see Spiderwoman in her dark prison cell. She is then given some food by one of the x-men. She refuses to eat as she believes it is being drugged to dampen her powers although the x-man tells Spiderwoman that her power is to suppress other powers. Spiderwoman asks her if this is what she wanted to do with her life. The x-man (who is named Phoebe) walks away without a reply. Next we visit Warpath giving Luke Cage his meal (in another dark room) right before Luke goes crazy and tries to assault this causes Warpath to drop Luke's food. Luke taunts Warpath before breaking down and asking to be able to phone his daughter. So now we see Hawkeye's cell where it is feeding time. He manages to trick the x-man into giving him her arm which he promptly threatens to break if he isn't released. Warpath is slightly displeased with this and decides to discuss in a calm manner by throwing Hawkeye so hard he manages to hit the opposite side of the cell. Hawkeye then cheerily states that if they don't have an in 'n out burger. We then go back to Spiderwoman's cell where she has brought a bowl of water to bathe with and is told by Phoebe that Thor (God of thunder) has been captured. Spiderwoman convinces Phoebe to let her have a pen and paper so she can get her afairs in order and tell her Mom she loves her. When she gets the pen she uses it to threaten Phoebe with it unless she opens the door, Phoebe is then knocked out. On her way Spiderwoman discovers Warpath who she beats to a pulp. She goes to release Hawkeye and when she does he attacks her believing she is a mutant. She proves she is not by knowing "how he got that thing on his butt". They find Cage and Spiderwoman uses her energy blast to open the lock. They begin running through the facility taking down one x-man while running. Unfortunately it seems they have wasted their time as four mutants are waiting for them one being a member of the phoenix five(Colossus). Luke Cage decides to bash Colossus into a wall and down a hill. We get a quick glimpse of Cyclops as they bash past him onto a speed boat. Just as they get away they are awakened in pods by danger explaining that it was a simulation until permanent accommodation can be created. We then see the same scene as the start but Spiderwoman refusing to talk.

Now I liked the story and the matrix like ending gave it a real feeling of hopelessness from Spiderwoman as there is no point of escaping. Overall the dialogue and the story was fine but a major problem with this issue was the art and colouring. The art was just all over the place some of it being ok to just terrible and the inconsistencies with proportion just remove you from the story plus there where several scenes with completely white backgrounds. The colouring on this comic felt lazy as the majority of colours where black and white. The prison cell I can understand it being dark but the colouring on the outside and in scenes such as when Luke Cage fights Colossus down a hill are hard to comprehend on a first read.

New Avengers No 28 gets a 2/5 as the no amount of writing that can save bad art or vice versa. 

Rayman 2: The Great Escape

Rayman 2 for the Nintendo 64 and dreamcast.This is one favourite games from my childhood and it's not because of any game play mechanics or deep story it' because Rayman 2 the great escape doesn't take itself  seriously in any way. The jist of the game is this you are Rayman you are mystical being with no arms, legs or neck who can use his hair like helicopter blades to slow down his falls. You have been captured by robot-pirates. That is just amazing but for this review I will put my childhood away and be impartial. So lets begin: we open with text explaining to us that the pirates have taken over the world and destroyed the heart of the world and only Rayman can save the world. Now before I go any further I must say that for a game like this it has one the best soundtracks I have ever heard; The opening music just slowly builds up and when it reaches the climax you are very pumped for the game. Now we see a robo-pirate dragging Globox(Rayman's best friend and an annoying blue frog-man thing) through an area filled with cages. He is thrown into the same cell as Rayman. He and Rayman have a discussion on the loss of his powers. But don't be a downer Rayman for you see Globox has smuggled you something a silver lum* so you can regain some of your powers. With this you use your new powers to destroy a grate at this point you finally gain control of Rayman as you slide down you can collect red lums which heal you. Unfortunately before you can figure out a way down you are bashed into by Globox and sent plummeting to the ground below. You awake and begin the level when a giant constantly smiling fly named Murfy. Who gives you instructions on how to play the game. As you go through the level you must collect all the yellow lums and break all the cages to release the teensies. After you brake the final cage and release the three teensies who can't decide who is king but seem to know where Globox is open a portal if you have enough yellow lums. Now you enter the hall of doors which allows you to enter new worlds. As you go from world to world you learn more about where Globox is and he has been captured again. You then go to a world where Ly the fairy is being held and after you save her she gives you some of your powers back and tells you to get the four masks of Polokus and awaken Polokus.Now we have to unlock the gate to the guardian of the mask once you beat it you are transported to Polokus who says he will awaken once you find the other three. So you move on to the next world and it's a pirate training instillation where we find Clark another friend of Rayman who has fallen ill after swallowing something so now you must back track to a previous level and enter the cave of bad dreams to find the medicine and give it to Clark. After you've done this you will reach the canopy where our favourite blue frog abomination is being held. When you release Globox he uses rain dance to short circuit lasers although Globox also has another silver lum allowing you to charge your attacks. After a few more levels you reach the next sanctuary, thankfully though this guardian is pacifistic and doesn't wish to fight you and then you get the second mask and give it Polokus. Inter cut between the scenes of Rayman we see the pirate captain: admiral Razorbeard. In these scenes we see that they're getting more and more worried about Rayman. The next sanctuary is one of rock and lava in this level you get the super helicopter power and promptly lose it at the end of the level, anyway you must make the stalactites fall on his head then you get the third mask and once again give it to Polokus. Now for the final mask you must rescue a bunch of baby Globoxes as his wife tells you then have been put into forced labour(Globox is captured again), when you free the children one of them vomits the mask up and you give to Polokus. Now Polokus uses his magic to eliminate all the pirates on land but not in the sky. The final level is the crow's nest in which you fight Razorbeard in his giant robot suit. So he is a robot pirate in a giant robot suit fighting a limbless neckless creature on a flying pirate ship while baby blue frogs watch. For the first part you must use your powers to reflect his bombs until he breaks the floor now Ly gives you a flying rocket which allows you to shoot at the robo-pirate and eventually defeat him. Once the battle is over the pirate ship explodes and we see that everyone thinks Rayman is dead because they could only find his left shoe but from the forest a limping Rayman approaches and all is right in the glade of dreams.
Now this game is awesome because frankly it is just so damn silly and fun but first I will talk about the bad. First the camera doesn't seem to agree with you as it is hard to control and fairly frustrating at times.Secondly fighting can be really awkward as Rayman seems to really suicidal and hates you as the camera angle adds to problem of moving around and not being able to see what you're doing. One thing that really irrates me about this game is the constant back tracking because if you don't have enough yellow lums you have to go back to past levels. Now onto the good: the game just looks amazing not because of graphics but the art and each level has an atmosphere plus the enemies each enemy looks unique and some are just creepy. Another great thing about this game is the story it so damn enjoyable (I know I've said this five times) but this isn't even the craziest one sometime we'll look at Rayman 3. So this game is great but there is the problem of the game play which is quite a large aspect of the game it is somewhat forgivable so I award Rayman 2: the great escape 7/10 I recommend getting you can find it (if you're interested) on Gog.com
Lums are small bodies of magical energy*   

Green Lanter Issue number 10

Green Lantern issue 10

We'll start with issue 10. We see on the cover Sinestro with chains and the indigo lantern symbol on his head. With Hal Jordan being restrained in the background. Personally I really like this cover as it does give you an idea of what the hell is going on Sinestro has been captured and brainwashed by the indigo tribe. We start the comic with Hal and Sinestro being chased by a bunch of psychotic loincloth wearing indigo tribe members. Hal explains to Sinestro that he was brainwashed by the ring but now that the power source is gone they're all free to roam an murder as they please. Sinestro wishes to fight but Hal uses his ring to throw him back and explains he has barely any power left in it. Immediately afterwards he decides to make a green SUV for them to ride around in (personally I would've perferred a porsche) and almost immediately find the guardian responsible for the creating the indigo tribe. They imprison him a large bird cage construct and question him. He explains to them that he can only gain control if the battery is restored. So Sinestro decides to distract the psychotic mob headed straight towards them (How they caught up with an SUV though is anyone's guess.) and he fends them all off with his fists. Meanwhile blackhand is running away to try and escape this planet to go back to Earth and raise the dead. When Hal and the guardian reach the battery they realise they can't power it without the power of empathy. But then Iroque the child killer enters express her sadness for all the atrocities she has committed as she sheds a single tear the battery is restored causing all the rings to activate and find their hosts. Meanwhile Black Hand sees the ring approaching him and promptly jumps off the cliff and falls to his death but this is not the end as his black ring finds him and resurrects him. After this resurrection he screams "I want to go home". Next in the last few pages we see Sinestro recaptured. The End.

Well this comic was actually pretty good. The story is amzing and never gets dull or drags also the dialogue is good a gives us the kind of relationship Hal and Sinestro have. Although I do find it weird that Hal claims he doesn't have enough energy and then makes a massive SUV construct to go riding arounding the jungle after that he then makes a cage. If he didn't have a lot of energy why not make a smaller vehichle. Another weird plot hole where did that black ring suddenly appear from was it just waiting at the bottom of the cliff this entire time. The art in this comic is gorgeous and the artist Doug Mahnke is able to an extraordinary amount of detail into the facial features but the problem is the facial expressions on the characters they range from good to ok to just downright goofy. Now because of the stellar writing from Geoff Johns and penciling of Doug Mahnke I give this 4/5 stars. 

Hawkeye #1

 

Hawkeye number one's cover is bland it doesn't  give you any indication about the setting , plot or the tone of the comic. With an image of Hawkeye shooting an arrow of a building. We open with Hawkeye falling from a building and landing on the roof of a car.  After he crashes on the car he sent to the hospital and describes the fact that he has no powers and that when things are bad for him they are most likely mean he won't survive. After this we see Hawkeye in a veterinary all bruised and placing an injured dog on the table. We see that six weeks later he is wheeled out of the hospital and proceeds to throw the wheelchair into the road. While he is being yelled by at by of the hospital nurses he just shrugs him off as he enters the taxi. As the traffic grinds to a halt he leaves the taxi as he receives a barrage of profanity while he whistles casually. As he reaches his apartment he sees his Russian landlord Ivan (who uses bro every sentence) evicting a woman and her children while threatening to "keel" them. The woman begs Clint to help her. He takes a quick look at the lease and unfortunately there's nothing he can do about the eviction. We then go back to Hawkeye at the vet  where the dog is telling him to be ready in case his dog doesn't make it but Hawkeye keeps telling him the dog is not his and demands he do the surgery. After this we see Hawkeye  on the roof with his neighbours firing a coin at glass bottles. We see Hawkeye thinking his neighbours are jerks while discussing that the apartments in their block have been bought and all the tenants evicted. The next page shows us Hawkeye offering pizza to a dog and entering Ivan's secret underground casino.  He offers to pay for everyone's rent  but Ivan refuses while saying bro repeatedly. As he shuffles cards in his hands while the other members of Ivan's gang pull out guns. A fight scene ensues with Hawkeye using cards to defeat his opponents. Next we see Ivan and his gang enter the clinic. We then flashback to Hawkeye being thrown out a window while being chased by the dog's owner and shot at. As he gets shot in the arm the dog attacks the gunman and is thrown into the road. Hawkeye considers running away but runs back as he beats them he monologues about how dare they throw a dog into a road. With the dog in the road he throws a coin to break the window to stop one of the cars hitting him. Back in the clinic he beats up Ivan and the gang while the other people watch in horror. Hawkeye explains that he is an avenger. As he sends Ivan to a cab he forces him to take the money and not sell the apartment. Then the doctor comes out and explains the dog will make it after this we end with the dogs name being arrow.         
Opinion: Now personally I enjoyed this first issue as it sets up the tone of this series we see from this it will be quite a gritty and dark comic series. We see a big contrast between the way he acts with his neighbours and the way he acts with the gang. We see from the way he acts around his neighbours his is a kind and forgiving person as he is willing to spend his own money to pay for their rents. While he is utterly ruthless and unforgiving towards Ivan and coerces him into taking his money. Now the art in this comic is great and gives kind of a cartoony feel which is quite a difference to the style of writing used. One criticism of the art is that doesn't really have that much detail on character's features. The colouring also gives this book a unique look with the colours for the start being all bright while the at the vet clinic they're dark showing how things have changed through the comic. This comic was great first issue as it shows you the tone and makes you care about Hawkeye. So I will give this comic a 4/5

Super Mario 64:

 

Super mario 64 is one of the most iconic mario games in history as it was the first game starring mario in 3D. It was created for the nintendo 64 and released in june of 1996. This week I will taking a look and review this classic game. Now with regards to graphics  I will not be judging them from a modern standard.

Story: The story opens with mario appearing outside Peach's castle. Mario reads a letter from Peach inviting him for cake. As he enters the castle he is told by Bowser that he has captured Peach and locked away the stars and there's nothing he can do about it. So you must go through all the levels in an area collect the stars and of course beat the boss then go on to the next area then rinse and repeat. Until you fight Bowser in a final fight and win. When you beat Bowser yo get a little cutscene at the end where Peach congratulates then kisses you on your polygon nose and invites you inside for some cake. Now I don't think there is anything wrong with the story it's the kind of classic story you get from a mario game Peach is captured by Bowser you must rescue her which is fine and suprisingly doesn't get boring even after all these years.

Gameplay: Mario 64's basic controls are A=jump, B=attack, Z=crouch and C buttons control the camera. When you first start the game you appear outside the castle and are given a quick tutorial on the controls. When you enter the castle there is a door with a star on it. When you enter through the star door you must jump through a painting to start the level. Each level contains 6 stars and some contain secret stars and in total there are 120 stars. There are several areas a basement, a moat and a courtyard. Within each area there is a door with a large star on it that leads to the boss of the area, Bowser. Now the fights with bowser involve you on a small arena dodging his attacks then running behind him, grabbing his tail and spinning him round and round and throwing him into a bomb. After defeating the final boss, Bowser states that there are 120 stars. Within the game there are several hats that give you powers such as the metal cap which turns you into metal that allows you to withstand noxious gas, winds and walk underwater. There is the wing cap which allows you to fly and finally the vanish cap allowing you to become semi-immaterial and allowing you to pass through wire meshes. The enemies in this are very diverse and all look unique from the boos to the bom-ombs pink or black. And each enemy no matter what level provides a challenge.

Opinion: I personally love this game. It's really enjoyable as each level design is unique and even with the outdated just looks great. Also I enjoyed the design of the castle as each area looks different and sets the style for the levels to come. The game has a interesting control system with an easy to learn but hard to master controls, as the basic controls are just jump and attack but there are multiple combinations that can aid or damage your progress through the level as the wrong jumpat the wrong time can kill you. Another great thing about this game is the boss fights though they have same format the increased difficulty and the style of the level makes you forget the repetiveness. Although this game does have some problems such as camera controls as they can be quite awkward and when you're fighting Bowser and trying to throw him because of the angle of the camera you can't see the bombs and must make an educated guess of when to throw. Now another problem is that the controls aren't exactly perfected as like in most early 3D games the controls can be a bit sensitive and at certain times can cause deaths really easily. Now earlier I mentioned the flying cap the problem with the flying cap is that it can be really awkward to control the flying cap and you can't make accurate sharp turns.

Score: I will have to give this game a 9/10 because in spite of  the flaws this game is amazing for when it was released and has still some the best gameplay mechanics and design of the levels in any game I've ever played.  

Cringeworthy comics will review:


12/10 The incredible Hulk 13
19/10 Left 4 dead the sacrifice
26/10 Justice League task force 1
2/11 star trek/doctor who assimilation squared

Hello and welcome to cringeworthy creations featuring:

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The Retrogamer reviews will be any games based on the gamecube/PS2/xbox

generation or anything before that as well as retro related items.

and the comic review series:

cringeworthy comics

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